jwalkernet

"The nice guys are all over there. In seventh place."
---Leo Durocher

"If love is blind, I guess I'll buy myself a cane."
---Guns N' Roses, "Locomotive"

"If you could, save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone."
---Aimee Mann, "Save Me"


More insomnia, so I'm taking it out on you.

It is once again Valentine's Day. And I am once again (perhaps that should be "still") single. So much in my life has changed in the last 365 days---a different job, a different car, a different home...and yet, I'm still sitting here on Valentine's Day, just like I did last year. I guess I should be grateful for at least that little bit of stability.

I have to watch myself here, because this could easily slide into a fit of whining and crying and feeling sorry for myself, and that's really not what I'm intending to do. So I'll tread lightly.

But it's hard not to feel shitty on this day. I mean, the entire world is celebrating something I don't have. V-Day just shines a great big spotlight on this empty patch in my life and says, "Hey, look over here! There's a big fuckin' hole!" The fact that I'm not seeing anyone doesn't bother me on most days, but when it's called to my attention so bluntly, it has a tendancy to get under my skin. Not enough to the point that I'll do something drastic, but it's not pleasant.

A guy at work told me that if he's seeing someone as Valentine's approaches, he dumps her, to "avoid the hassle." This type of mindset baffles and astounds me. I feel like Lester Burnham, watching Ricky quit his job and just standing in awe.

"How can you do that?" I asked. "Just throw away a perfectly good relationship, just to avoid buying her flowers?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. But there's always other women." And he'll dump them, too, of course.

"It's same thing with their birthdays," he said.

What's sad is, he's right---there are always other women...for that guy, and guys like that guy. [Here comes the bitching...] Have you seen that Coke commerical, where the two guys are talking, and one of them says something really smart about the vending machine, only to laughed at by friend? Then, these two girls walk up, and the "friend" uses what the smart guy said as a pickup line...and it works! The smart guy is just left standing there drinking his Coke, looking like the jackass sidekick to Mr. Smooth. If a dime for every time that happened to me...

...well, I'd have about $2.20. But hey, that's a lot of dimes.

So it's yet another Valentine's Day of bitching and moaning. At least some things can be counted on.