Shinies!

When you play a song in Rock Band, you're given a star rating based on your score. (It's not based on accuracy, which is a little annoying. But whatever.) You are ranked from one to five stars. If you're playing on Expert difficulty, and you get a super-duper-awesome score, you can get even higher: five gold stars. This is exceedingly difficult, and requires true mastery of the track.

I've made it my mission in life to get five gold stars on every song we have -- all 99 of them. Since I suck with the Rock Band guitar and I'm not that good a drummer, it'll have to be on vocals. I'll keep track of my successes here. Why? Because I have to be able to brag about something, don't I?

Gold Stars achieved on...
[* denotes a perfect 100% performance]

• "Maps"
• "Creep" * (27th place on the PS3 Rock Band Leaderboard)
  
• "Go with the Flow" *
• "(Don't Fear) the Reaper" *
  
• "Wonderwall"
• "Buddy Holly" (28th on the Leaderboard)
  
• "Interstate Love Song" (37th on the Leaderboard)
  

Count your blessings

1. Ah, yes: it's baseball season again. And the Astros' pumped-up new starting lineup got things going exactly the way you'd expect them to -- by losing their first two games, scoring all of one run in the process (and that came on a bases-loaded walk). But then last night, they blasted four home runs off two future Hall of Famers, made Trevor Freaking Hoffman blow a save, and won 9-6. So clearly they can hit when they need to. Which is a relief. And I like the way they're playing so far, despite the lack of scoring in the first two games. (And in their defense, they were up against two excellent pitchers in Jake Peavy and Chris Young. But still.) I remain cautiously optimistic, especially because we still don't have our full lineup out there yet (Kaz Matsui is still out with...um, an unfortunate injury), and we also play in the National League Comedy Central, the worst division in all of baseball. It's a total crapshoot.

2. I bought Beth Kinderman's album, All of My Heroes Are Villains, and you should, too. I've talked about her music at length before, but this is a real record -- recorded in a studio with a band and everything. It sounds phenomenal, particularly "Hannibal Lecter" and "Valley." So you should buy it. It came with a free bumper sticker, too. Here's a rundown, in my patented iTunes-screenshot review style:



3. I also bought Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings, the new Counting Crows album, and it's probably their best record since Recovering the Satellites over ten years ago. Trust me: the catharsis to be found in singing the last verse of "Come Around" at the top of your lungs cannot be understated. "And one of the million lies she said / Is, 'Everything you love is dead' / But I've seen what she thinks is love, and it leaves me laughing / So we'll still come around."



4. Rock Band is the single greatest multiplayer game ever made. It's also the best music game ever made. It is impossible to describe how fun it really is. Our band, Scott Tenorman Must Die, broke the 500,000 fan threshold last night and earned our spot in the Rock Band Hall of Fame. Our best song? "Epic," of all things. We own these setlists. Except for "Green Grass and High Tides," which we have yet to complete. Not even once. But it's getting there.

5. For serious this time: I've restarted work on my Saying Story for this month, "Miles and Miles and Miles and Miles and Miles." It's about vampires. And ghosts. And the Who. What's not to love? You can check my progress with Regina Spektor in the sidebar.

6. Though most of it isn't written down, I have almost the entirety of the next Revolver episode in my head. So as soon as "Miles" is out of the way, that'll be coming.

7. My friends are surprisingly patient and supporting of my problems. (Though one of them, of course, laughs in my face when something bad happens, he sends very considerate e-mails.) Everything fell apart for me at once last month; on Tuesday, I think I made the first step toward building them back up again. And they'll be there when I do. Breathing a sigh of relief, I'm sure -- I'm insufferable when I'm depressed. Thank you, guys.

That list was longer than I thought it would be. But then, that's the point in counting them, isn't it?

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Now playing: Beth Kinderman - Princess
via FoxyTunes

Santa did get my letter!

Barry Bonds has been indicted on federal charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

Derek Jeter may be a tax cheat.

My name remains at the top of the waiting list for PlayStation 3s over at Partners. Should be within a couple weeks.

And the Rock Band people have finally announced the pricing and release schedule of some of the downloadable content. Available within the first month of release:

• "Ride the Lightning," Metallica
• "Blackened," Metallica
• "...And Justice for All," Metallica
• "Can't Stand Losing You," The Police
• "Roxanne," The Police
• "Fortunate Son," Creedence Clearwater Revival
• "Bang a Gong (Get It On)," T-Rex
• "Heroes," David Bowie
• "N.I.B.," Black Sabbath
• "War Pigs," Black Sabbath
• "My Iron Lung," Radiohead
• "Buddy Holly," Weezer

In the first month.

Christmas is early this year, huh?

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Now playing: AC/DC - Hard As A Rock
via FoxyTunes

WHOOO!!!

They've announced more tracks for Rock Band! And I'm dizzy with excitement! I can't stop using exclamation points!

• "Creep," Radiohead!
• "Cherub Rock," Smashing Pumpkins!
• "Are You Gonna Be My Girl," Jet!!
• "Sabotage," Beastie Boys!!!
  
• "Epic," Faith No More!!!!
• "Gimme Shelter," The Rolling Stones!!!!!

Joy! Joy joy!

I would advise against standing between me and a copy of this game.

Hey, no more exclamation points!

(Oops.)

List of the week: the 20 Albums That Should Be in Rock Band

I've previously expounded on Rock Band a few times, making suggestions regarding the soundtrack. Last time, I mentioned songs that should be included; but with the announcement that whole albums -- including Who's Next and Nevermind -- would be available for download, I feel another list is in order. So here are the twenty albums that should find their way onto the soundtrack, not counting the two already announced.

And before we get to the choices, let's hope these things are reasonably priced. I don't want to have to pay $17 for each of these albums, know what I mean?

Again, these albums are listed in the order in which they occur to me. I've also included a few songs titles to back up my point. These albums rule.

1. Metallica, Metallica. "Enter Sandman," "Sad but True," "The Unforgiven."
2. Appetite for Destruction, Guns N' Roses. "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City," "It's So Easy."
3. OK Computer, Radiohead. "Airbag," "Paranoid Android," "Let Down"
4. Dirt, Alice in Chains. "Would?," "Them Bones," "Rooster"
5. Ten, Pearl Jam. "Evenflow," "Alive," "Jeremy"
6. Electric Ladyland, The Jimi Hendrix Experience. "All Along the Watchtower," "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)"
7. Master of Puppets, Metallica. "Master of Puppets," "Battery," "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)"
8. Back in Black, AC/DC. "Hells Bells," "Back in Black," "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution"
9. Fully Completely, The Tragically Hip. "Courage," "At the Hundredth Meridian," "Locked in the Trunk of a Car"
10. The Wall, Pink Floyd. "Comfortably Numb," "Run Like Hell," "Young Lust"
11. American Idiot, Green Day. "Jesus of Suburbia," "American Idiot," "Holiday"
    
12. Let It Bleed, The Rolling Stones. "Gimme Shelter," "Let It Bleed," "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
13. The Battle of Los Angeles, Rage Against the Machine. "Guerrilla Radio," "Sleep Now in the Fire," "War Within a Breath" [I can totally rap just like Zack de la Rocha.]
14. Undertow, Tool. "Sober," "Flood," "Prison Sex"
15. Graceland, Paul Simon. "Graceland," "The Boy in the Bubble," "Gumboots" [Hey, it can't all be heavy metal thunder. Which reminds me...]
16. Cowboys from Hell, Pantera. "Cowboys from Hell," "Cemetery Gates," "Primal Concrete Sledge"
17. Happiness...Is Not a Fish That You Can Catch, Our Lady Peace. "One Man Army," "Blister," "Lying Awake"
18. Thriller, Michael Jackson. "Beat It," "Billie Jean," "Thriller" [What?]
19. Just pick any of the first six Led Zeppelin albums. Or, better yet, all of them.
20. Achtung Baby, U2. "One," "Mysterious Ways," "Until the End of the World"

One album I originally selected but removed was Metallica's Ride the Lightning. A great choice, yeah, but I removed it because its best song -- "The Call of Ktulu" -- is instrumental, thus defeating some of the fun of Rock Band.

Now, who wants to bet that after Who's Next and Nevermind, the first wave of downloads will be dominated by the discographies of My Chemical Romance and Nickelback?

You should keep reading, it was a good list

You'll recall that I posted a list a little more than a week ago regarding the songs I felt should be included in the game Rock Band.

Well, no one at Harmonix is reading. But it's fun to pretend they are, because they just announced a few more songs that will go in the game.

• "Wanted Dead or Alive," Bon Jovi. Not on my list. But I thought about it; I rejected it because, frankly, I don't like it very much. But it will certainly be fun to play.
• "Tom Sawyer," Rush. Hey -- that one's on my list! Good on you, Harmonix!
• "Learn to Fly," Foo Fighters. That's not on my list, but "I'll Stick Around" was. Right band, wrong song.
• "Welcome to the Jungle," Guns N' Roses. Again: right band, wrong song. But I imagine "Welcome to the Jungle" is a more feasible choice than "November Rain," anyway.
• "Enter Sandman," Metallica. Okay, for real, you guys, if you're gonna--

Wait.

"Enter Sandman," Metallica.

Holy shit, they're actually putting Metallica in the game.

Hell, "One" was a joke -- I put it number one because I knew Metallica would never, ever make it into the game. And now...they're in? And they say that a "substantial" number of Metallica songs will be in the game.

Well done, Harmonix. Very well done, indeed.

Also, "Vasoline" by the Stone Temple Pilots will be included, and I should've thought of that myself.

But you wanna hear the best part? I mean, aside from the Metallica? They're going to release additional albums -- not songs, you hear, but entire albums -- for download. The first of these? Who's Next, by the Who. One of the very bestest albums ever friggin' recorded. We're be able to play "Baba O'Reilly"! "Behind Blue Eyes"! "Won't Get Fooled Again"! Flippin' "Bargain"!

Can I have this game now, please?

List of the Week: The 20 Songs That Have to Be in Rock Band

(Yeah, I'm going to start doing my lists again. We'll see how long it lasts.)

Obviously, you know all about Rock Band. It remains to be seen how well this GREATEST IDEA EVER will actually work in practice, and the price is steep, but it's hard not to be excited about it.

They're still making the game, but with all that programming and beta-testing going on, they may need some assistance with the soundtrack. Hey -- I'm here to help.

When I sat down to write this list, I learned that three of the first songs that occurred to me as perfect choices -- "In Bloom," "Won't Get Fooled Again," and "Say It Ain't So" -- have already been confirmed as being in the game. Score points for me, then. So here are twenty other songs that should be in Rock Band. They're in the order that I thought of them rather that any sort of ranking, but the #1 song is the one I think would be the best choice for the game.

1. "One," Metallica
2. "Whole Lotta Love," Led Zeppelin
3. "Honky Tonk Women," The Rolling Stones
4. "Flagpole Sitta," Harvey Danger
5. "Evenflow," Pearl Jam
6. "Zombie," The Cranberries
7. "All Along the Watchtower," Jimi Hendrix
8. "Float On," Modest Mouse
9. "Money," Pink Floyd
   
10. "I'll Stick Around," Foo Fighters
11. "Judith," A Perfect Circle
12. "Paranoid Android," Radiohead
13. "Tom Sawyer," Rush
14. "Sleep Now in the Fire," Rage Against the Machine
15. "Layla," Derek and the Dominos
16. "Seven Nation Army," The White Stripes
    
17. "November Rain," Guns N' Roses ("Welcome to the Jungle" is in the gameplay video that's going around the internet, but it hasn't been confirmed as actually being in the game. Screw that song: "November Rain" is a better choice.)
18. "Until the End of the World," U2
19. "Torn," Creed (remember, it's their only great song)
20. "Beat It," Michael Jackson

You're welcome, Harmonix.

(And my god the licenses for my game would expensive, huh?)