I Pick the (Stupid) Oscars

My, oh my, but the Oscar field is kinda yawn-inducing. In this year, with so many excellent films to choose from -- like those on my top twelve list -- the Academy picked a rather boring, no-risk group of flicks to honor. What a pity.

In the Best Picture race, we're stuck with one great film (Sideways), one good one (Ray), and two so-so movies geared directly at the Oscar voters (The Aviator and Million Dollar Baby). The last film, Finding Neverland, I can't even bring myself to go see.

But still -- it's the Oscars. It's the biggest night for movies, and there's still a part of me that takes them seriously (too seriously, to tell you the truth). So not only will I comment on this year's nominees and deserving winners (and those whom the Academy forgot about and/or ignored) but pick who will win on February 27th. I generally don't do that last part, because I'm horrible at it, but I'm feeling lucky.

So let's get to it.

PICTURE
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby (will win)
Ray
Sideways (should win)

It was criminal not to nominate: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Dogville

DIRECTOR
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Taylor Hackford, Ray
Mike Leigh, Vera Drake
Alexander Payne, Sideways (should win)
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator (will win)

It was criminal not to nominate: Michel Gondry, Eternal Sunshine; Lars Von Trier, Dogville

ACTOR
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Aviator
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Jamie Foxx, Ray (will win) (should win)

It was criminal not to nominate: Paul Giamatti, Sideways

ACTRESS
Annette Bening, Being Julia
Catalina Sandino Moreno, Maria Full of Grace
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby (will win)
Kate Winslet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (should win)

It was criminal not to nominate: Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 2

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Alda, The Aviator
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Jamie Foxx, Collateral (should win)*
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby (will win)
Clive Owen, Closer

It was criminal not to nominate: Mark Wahlberg, I Heart Huckabees

*I think Foxx should win because his was the best performance of these five. But I don't think he should be nominated at all here...because his role was the lead in Collateral, not supporting. Stupid Oscars.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virginia Madsen, Sideways (will win) (should win)
Natalie Portman, Closer
Sophie Okonedo, Hotel Rwanda

It was criminal not to nominate: Patricia Clarkson, Dogville

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Aviator
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (will win) (should win)
The Incredibles
Hotel Rwanda
Vera Drake

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Before Sunset
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby (will win)
Motorcycle Diaries
Sideways (should win)

CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Aviator (will win)
House of Flying Daggers (should win)
The Passion of the Christ
The Phantom of the Opera
A Very Long Engagement

ART DIRECTION
The Aviator (will win)
Finding Neverland
Lemony Snicket's An Unfortunate Series of Events (should win)
The Phantom of the Opera
A Very Long Engagement

It was criminal not to nominate: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

COSTUME DESIGN
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Ray
Troy (will win) (should win)

EDITING
The Aviator
Collateral (should win)
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby (will win)
Ray

It was criminal not to nominate: Eternal Sunshine; Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (I'm not sure if docs are eligible for this award, but Monster certainly deserves at least a nomination. Watch the film again, and admire the way the footage is cut together, scenes folding within scenes for maximum narrative clarity and emotional insight.)

SCORE
Finding Neverland
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (should win)
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
The Passion of the Christ (will win)
The Village

It was criminal not to nominate: I Heart Huckabees

SOUND
The Aviator (will win)
The Incredibles (should win)
The Polar Express
Ray
Spider-Man 2

SONG
"Accidentally in Love," Shrek 2 (should win)
"Al Otro Lado Del Rio," The Motorcycle Diaries
"Believe," The Polar Express
"Learn to Be Lonely," The Phantom of the Opera (will win)
"Look to Your Path (Vois Sur Ton Chemin)," The Chorus

It was criminal not to nominate: "America, Fuck Yeah!," Team America (hey, "Blame Canada" was nominated)

VISUAL EFFECTS
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (should win)
I, Robot
Spider-Man 2 (will win)

MAKEUP
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
The Passion of the Christ (will win) (should win)
The Sea Inside

SOUND EFFECTS EDITING
The Incredibles
The Polar Express
Spider-Man 2 (will win) (should win)

ANIMATED FEATURE
The Incredibles (will win) (should win)
Shark Tale
Shrek 2

DOCUMENTARY
Born into Brothels
The Story of the Weeping Camel
Super Size Me (will win)
Tupac: Resurrection
Twist of Faith

I can't pick a should-win, because I haven't seen any of them.

It was criminal not to nominate: Metallica: Some Kind of Monster

The final tally as I see it:
Million Dollar Baby -- 5
The Aviator -- 4
Passion, Spider-Man 2 -- 2
Eternal Sunshine, Ray, Super Size Me, Sideways, The Incredibles, Phantom, Troy -- 1

Feel free to critique my choices. I know my pick for MDB is kinda risky, especially when I'm calling Director for Marty...but I've got a hunch.