Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

A police officer woke me up at eight this morning, knocking on my door.

"Are you the owner of a green Nissan Sentra?"

I told him I was. Actually, I just grumbled my assent. I couldn't really talk yet.

"We've had some break-ins," he said, "and it looks as though someone may have gone through your car. Could you come take a look for me?"

I woke up a little. "Someone went through my car?"

"Maybe, sir," the cop said. "Your glove box is open, and there's stuff everywhere on the seats and floorboards. It's a mess."

I groaned. "That's...kinda how it looks anyway."

I followed the cop out to my car, shuffling through the parking lot in my bare feet. Another officer was talking to one of my neighbors, huddled around a red Mustang. That neighbor didn't look pleased.

We arrived at my car, and I looked inside. The glove compartment was open, revealing a mess of papers and books. Assorted junk filled the floorboards, and paper and garbage were strewn everywhere. The car looked like a tornado had formed inside.

"Yeah," I said. "That's how it looks anyway."

"So...you don't think anyone broke in?" the cop said. He didn't sound like he believed me.

"I'm pretty sure," I said. "Even if they did, they didn't take anything." Not that there's anything to take, I thought.

"Um, okay," said the cop. "Sorry to have bothered you."

Yeah. Sure. I returned to my apartment, which looks pretty much like my car.

If someone broke in here, I probably wouldn't even notice.

And now here's a college choir performing a rather awesome a cappella cover of Vampire Weekend's "Oxford Comma."



Good stuff, huh?

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Now playing: Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma
via FoxyTunes