In other news, doctors say that cancer may lead to health problems

So, you're never going to believe this, but Guns N' Roses -- who are touring to support that new album of theirs, the one Axl's been making for a decade, and it's coming out just any day now, this year, no really, I mean it, 2006, no later, absolutely, you got it, for serious -- cancelled a show last night:

Monday night's show at the Cumberland County Civic Center has been cancelled due to limitations imposed by local fire marshals.

A band spokesperson commented, "Axl and the band are very unhappy about not being able to play for the fans in Portland but have been advised after several meetings with local fire marshals Nelson Collins and Bob Cadigan that they have made it impossible for the band to perform their show to the usual high standards that their fans deserve.

"More importantly, we have been informed that officials intend to enforce rules and regulations that should not and do not apply in this venue. Our production manager and crew have been in this building with Clay Aiken and Green Day and none of the restrictions imposed on Guns N’ Roses were experienced by those artists...."

And I know that it had to be for a really good reason. I mean, those vicious fire marshalls! Damn them and their puritanical insistence on treating a Clay Aiken concert differently than a Guns N' Roses show! I bet Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond don't have to put up with the same kind of crap Axl does, either! He's so misunderstood!

I remember back in 1992, Metallica and Guns N' Roses were touring together. At one stop in Montreal, both bands cut their sets short, leading to a rather decent-sized riot.

See, Axl had a sore throat. And his monitors weren't working all that well. So, obviously, you should just stroll off stage, right? I mean, what else is he supposed to do? Keep playing?

Metallica's monitors were working just fine. But they just didn't the point in continuing the show after their lead singer was swallowed by fire. Those Metallica boys -- such wusses!

Speaking of stupid people and fire, Donald Rumsfeld was quite unceremoniously dispatched yesterday. Of course, the Emperor of Ice-Cream, at his press conference yesterday, pretty much said he'd been planning to do this anyway, it had nothing to do with the "thumpin'" the Republicans took in the midterms. And this (obviously, and nobody can be surprised by this kind of crap from Bush anymore) directly contradicts what he'd been saying before the election: he swore up and down that he was keeping Rummy, he wasn't going anywhere, not for two years, no sir! Which forced Republican nominees to defend Rumsfeld, which probably hurt them in the voting. Good job, Jackass! You're ruined the country, now you've ruined your own party! What's next? Your religion?

Oh, and why did he lie? Why he did tell people he wasn't going to get rid of Rumsfeld, when he knew that he was? Why? Because he wanted to use Rumsfeld like a sacrifical lamb to the masses in the event the GOP got their asses kicked, to make it look like he was willing to compromise?

Well, yeah, Georgie. But what did he say was the reason?

He didn't want to influence the election.

*sigh*

He's not even trying anymore, is he?

(And did I set some sort of record for sarcastic italics is this post, or what?)