Things I Hate, Part 2348

(Listening to: Parachutes, Coldplay)

You know what I hate? When I really, really hate something. And I go out of my way to let everyone know about my hatred -- as I'm sure you're aware by now, I don't keep my disdain for...well, anything secret for very long. So I trumpet my loathing for whatever it is I loathe, and everyone knows I hate it. Usually, I get some people who agree with me. And we're all joined together in our Cabal of Hatred: "Yeah, fuck [whatever]! It sucks!" But then a little time passes. And somehow I'm exposed to [whatever] again. And I discover -- to my shock and horror -- that I don't hate it like I used to. In fact, I like it. In fact, I like it a lot.

I hate that.

When I got Windows95, back when it first came out, the disc came with a few music videos -- namely, Weezer's "Buddy Holly." I hated that song when it was first released. Really, I did. And I thought the music video -- you remember it, the one where Spike Jonze used digital technology to splice the band into clips of Happy Days -- was goofy and stupid.

But it's on the disc, so my mom and I watch. And as she starts it, I mumble, "I hate that song." And she knew, and said she did. But the song starts, and I realize...hey, this isn't as bad as I remember. In fact...yeah. Shit. I actually kinda like it.

What I actually hate isn't the wonderful discovery that I can now enjoy something I despised in the past. Actually, that's pretty cool. What I don't like is that look I get from the rest of the Cabal of Hatred.

"Hey, I thought you hated this song."

Yeah. So did I.

And my neurotic rat brain -- somehow, don't ask me why -- feels strangely guilty. Like I've let my friends down. Like I've betrayed them or something. Isn't that fucking stupid?

Now you know why I hate it so much.

What brought this on? Coldplay's "Yellow." Sweet fancy Moses, I hated that song with a passion. And I continued to voice my hatred of it, even though I hadn't heard it in years, because I've found myself talking about Coldplay a lot recently -- X&Y is an awesome album, one of the best of the year, and you should totally buy it if you haven't already. But in my various defenses of Coldplay, I've always struck common ground with my enemy over "Yellow": "Oh yeah, fuck that song. That song is crap."

But then, for no reason I can discern, out of nowhere, they played it on the radio the other day. And guess what.

Dammit.

I'm sorry I've betrayed you.