Never tell me the odds

In writing this blog post, I am taking a short break from putting together my first Saying Story of 2009. This go-round, we're using song lyrics as our inspiration; my story (indeed, all of my stories this year) will concern, thusly, a fictitious totally real rock band. Look, here's the cover of their first album.


It won't be finished until tomorrow, but I thought I'd use this space to remind you that I actually used to write and publish things. No, really, I did. Here, as proof, is a list of my favorite things that I've written. If you think I'm forgetting something, I implore you to remind me.

• That's When I Reach for My Revolver. I like the entire series, and I'm in love with all of my characters, but the popular consensus seems to be that "Halloween" has been the best episode thus far. "The Long and Winding Road" and "Brand New Day" were the most fun to write. And a new episode is coming. No, really. The title (at this very second) is "Sugar, We're Goin' Down."
• "The Storyteller, the Dragon and the Great Decree" -- so far outside of my style that it feels like I'm making fun of someone. Also the story that took me longest to write out of anything I've done: concept to final draft took a couple of years. Some feel the wait was worth it. I know René does.
• "Owl-Stretching Time" -- from last year's Saying Stories. There's not much of a narrative to speak of (unless you count Monty's monologue), but I've never loved writing a story more. Looking back on it a year later, I still like the voice I managed to find to capture Stacy's attitude and worldview. And I said everything I need to say about friendship, I think.
• I used to write cool things on this blog, too. For instance, the guy who "created" Lost is a whiny tool. René and I saw the Tragically Hip at Scout Bar and were the only Americans in the room. Obnoxious pro-lifers kind of irritate me. Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte are fucking assholes (and the Pettitte thing was even before the steroids story broke). I can't stay quiet while watching the Feud. I certainly wasn't surprised when Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was canceled. Apparent apathy on the part of my paltry audience doomed the project after only one installment, but I'm still proud of my Guns N' Roses dissertation. Before I turned it into an entire writing project of its own, bitching about my pizza delivery job was fun. Stephen got married, and I got sentimental. My sister and I review Cloverfield.

Back to writing now. I need to finish. I will finish.

Anyone taking odds on my success? Not good, are they?