Random stuff

So, yeah.

Hope you've read the new Revolver. Here's some of the early feedback I've received:

• "Get a life."
• "I'm never reading anything you write ever again."
• "You don't know the meaning of the word 'hope'."
• "Hmm, why do I have this noose around my neck?"
• "The only characters I know are Louis and...that other guy."

So obviously it's a rollicking good time. Tell your friends.

I've heard the WB and UPN are merging to form one network. This is like that episode of Next Gen where Data and Lore unite to lead the Borg against the Federation. Only fewer people care. I bet the end result is going to be the same, too: a bunch of whiny, idiotic robots destroying one another while everyone else runs away. Okay, maybe not robots.

Arrested Development is a really, really funny show. Too bad it's being cancelled. Of course, I know FOX tried their best to keep it alive. It's not like daringly original, groundbreaking television of unspeakable brilliance has ever choked and died on FOX before.

If another segment of American Idol replaces AD on the schedule, there may be a blogger riot. I can see it happening.

The piano melody of Bruce Springsteen's "Jungleland" sounds almost exactly like the piano melody of Elton John's "Tiny Dancer." Interesting.

The guitar melody of Creed's "One Last Breath" sounds almost like the guitar melody of...every other Creed song. Not interesting.

Axl Rose insists that we will hear music from him this year. While most have taken this to mean the long-awaited new GN'R album, Chinese Democracy, will be released, I'm not sure. I think it was his way of announcing his entry into this season's American Idol. I'd vote for him.

We still don't have our TV back yet. In its place there are two bags of garbage. There is some rather deep symbolism there, but I'm too tired to write it out at the moment. You can do it yourself.

The new version of The Producers was pretty good, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it would've been so much better onstage. I mean, you're not gonna believe this, but Nathan Lane's performance was just a tad over the top. And there were times when Matthew Broderick looked and sounded like a sixth-grader during a school production of Into the Woods. But Will Farrell seemed okay, surprisingly, and Uma Thurman -- oh sweet jeebus, did I love Uma Thurman in this movie. But then, I love Uma Thurman in every movie. I love Uma Thurman.

Funny story: as I was writing that last paragraph, the Uma worship reminded me of the song "Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank" by Barenaked Ladies -- it's about this crazy farmer who becomes obsessed with a beautiful celebrity. And as I was typing "I love Uma...," Windows Media Player, set to random, started playing "Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank."

Trebor is right. My computer -- or WMP, at least -- is gaining sentience.

Good. It can get a fucking job and start paying for itself.

Gotta stop now. I have real writing to do. Which I'm so totally going to do right now. I'm totally not going to watch the rest of Arrested Development, get some food, and go to sleep without writing a single word.

Good night, and good luck.