Tuesday, August 31, 2004
The Passion of the Christ
Rating: DUD
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Rating: *****
The Village
Rating: ****1/2
Collateral
Rating: ****1/2
Monday, August 30, 2004
A harmless seaside resort town
For those of you who haven't played any of the previous Silent Hill games, imagine a video game as creepy as, say, Ringu, or the better parts of The Blair Witch Project. Or imagine the Resident Evil games...only, you know, not horrible.
The first game is notable for terrifying my friends and me to the point where we had to force ourselves to keep playing. It lays out the template for the series: a lone person, stuck in a situation beyond their understanding, wandering through endless fog and rain and darkness, armed with makeshift weapons, trying to find a way out while avoiding the evil demons and monsters and oh holy shit what is THAT?! Unfortunately, it also boasts some of the worst voice acting ever heard in a game, and features a story which makes almost no sense whatsoever. (It makes so little sense, in fact, that a guy named Dan Birlew became something of a minor hero in game circles for writing an extensive document that actually managed to put the pieces together in a coherent fashion. This eventually got him a job writing strategy guides for BradyGames...including all the Silent Hill guides.)
I'd speak at length on Silent Hill 2, but I've decided to put together that video games list after all, and Silent Hill 2 ranks high. So I'll leave it until then.
Silent Hill 3 doesn't quite live up to the previous game, but it's a worthy sequel nonetheless. Story-wise, it's the weakest of the three (though it does manage to dump a whole lotta backstory that explains most of the "huh?" moments in the first game), but features the best lead character of the series thus far. And the puzzles -- argh! Easily the most brain-straining exercises I've found outside of a Myst title. The bosses are kind of pathetically easy, though, and the ending is rather abrupt and stupid, but it's fun getting there.
So...the new game: will it live up to expectations? Is it possible for anything to live up to my expecatations? We shall know shortly.
these crimes between us grow deeper
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
Rating: *****
Saturday, August 28, 2004
I notice things
Now, that doesn't bother me -- I happen to agree with a lot of it. What I notice after the sixth or seventh page is that John Kerry is always referred to as "John Kerry" -- full name. A dozen times a page: John Kerry. John Kerry. John Kerry. John Kerry. Never Senator Kerry, or just Kerry. Always first and last name. John Kerry.
Don't know why this bothers me. I know why it's done -- you have to pound the name of the candidate into the voter's head, over and over, to insure they remember it. I just feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to type "John Kerry" four hundred times to build the section on education.
Something else I noticed: I'm reading through the liner notes of Everclear's Songs from an American Movie, Vol. 2, (recorded in the fall of 2000 and released at the very end of that year) and come across this:
We would like to congratulate President-elect Al Gore; if by some strange chance he didn't win, well...you can't blame us for wishful thinking.
Something I'm sure you noticed: I didn't see any movies today. I'll keep you posted.
I'm just an actor, just like Robert fucking Redford
Friday, August 27, 2004
The Madness of King George
And SimCity remains the most addictive game ever made. I turn it on, start a new game, and the next thing I know three hours have vanished and I'm desperately trying to pipe enough water to shut up all 52,000 of my Sims.
This actually reminds me...I've been toying with the idea of a new list. Either a list of video games or music videos. Can't decide which. I'll let you know.
I'm hearing rumors that George Lucas is planning on three more Star Wars films after the release of Revenge of the Sith next year. I'd heard those same rumors many years ago, before The Phantom Menace came out. I can't decide if this is good or bad news.
If Lucas writes and/or directs...it's bad.
If not...I still don't know.
Hey, George -- how's about you think about making one movie, then, if it's a success, you can worry about continuing a story.
hearing you talk just makes me tired
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Irony
Look, there are a lot of liberals hanging out online. A lot of them are whiny and bitchy. But I don't get this right-wing obsession with the "liberal media" and how their voice is never heard. I mean, doesn't it kinda-sorta deflate your argument that the Republican Party controls the number-one news organization in the entire fucking world? Millions of people listen to the inane pettiness of intellectual gorillas like Hannity and Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter. Where's the liberal media? The Daily Show? I don't think that counts. And don't think I'm arguing the counterpoint, that there's a conservative (or perhaps a CONSERVATIVE~!) bias to the media. Because a lot of the time, the major news outlets at least try to be fair. They don't try very hard, mind you, but they give it a shot. The media is often ill-informed, poorly presented, and not all interested in giving the viewer all the important information, but for the most part I don't think it leans in one politcal direction or the other.
But, the CONSERVATIVES~! are convinced they don't control the media, and if they say it, it must be true. So, speaking for the Liberals of America, I'll make you a deal: we'll relinquish our Palpatine-like hold over all forms of media -- including television, the internet, radio, newspaper, and any and all formats not yet invented -- if Bush agrees to relinquish the White House and get the hell out of public view forever. And, hey, make sure Cheney and the rest of the cabient goes with him, and I'll let you keep O'Reilly.
Deal?
this ground is not the rock I thought it to be
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Gorged
To which I answered, "Yes. Actually, I have two live CDs. And two live DVDs."
The obvious response to that, of course, is "Why do you need this one?" but really, there's little appeal in this set for someone who doesn't already have everything. Because unlike most DMB live sets, this isn't a complete concert, but a compilation of tracks recorded over a three-day weekend in Washington state. While not as engrossing on the whole as the Central Park concert, or as interesting as the Dave & Tim Reynolds acoustic discs, it manages to perfectly fill the holes in my DMB live discography -- here, finally, "The Song That Jane Likes" and "Drive In, Drive Out" and "Proudest Monkey" and "Seek Up" and "Halloween" and an epic 17-minute version of "Lie in Our Graves." Plus Dave solo on "Gravedigger" and a version of "Kit Kat Jam" with lyrics. There's the obvious stuff, too: "The Space Between," "Ants Marching," "Warehouse." If you're already a Dave nut with a few live sets purchased, buy this. If not, I'd start with the Central Park concert.
Oh, and talk about a game right up my alley: Evil Genius. Aw yeah.
And obviously, when I said Chris Kattan was in Taxi, I meant Jimmy Fallon. I get those loser SNL guys mixed up sometimes. Either way, the movie will suck.
and all the captain's cards are kings
Monday, August 23, 2004
Trailer trash
Man, some of the movies coming soon look really bad. I keep waiting for the trailers for the, ya know, good movies, the ones that will fight for Oscars and critic's top ten lists and stuff. But so far, aside from The Aviator and maybe Friday Night Lights (which probably won't be as good as I think it will be), there's nuthin'. Oh, and Shaun of the Dead and Team America: World Police look hilarious. And I'm mesmerized by the enormous image of Reese Witherspoon on the cardboard display for Vanity Fair at the local AMC theater. Okay, so good stuff's coming, too, but ye gods look at the crap we're in for:
- Taxi. Ugh. Bumbling moron Chris Kattan and Queen Latifah chase after superhot supermodel bank robbers in a taxicab built by Inspector Gadget. And if the horrible jokes in the trailer are the best they can do, I'd better start dusting off that DUD rating.
- Suspect Zero. I have no confidence in serial killer movies of any sort these days. I'll see this out of respect for the (admittedly weak and overused) genre, which has given us Seven and the Ultimate Motion Picture, The Silence of the Lambs, but I'm frightened. And what the hell is Ben Kingsley doing?
- Saw. Speaking of stupid serial killers and actors who should know better. Cary Elwes is, I think, a cop held hostage by crazy Danny Glover, "the Jigsaw Killer," who doesn't actually kill his victims, but instead traps them in poorly lit, badly designed soundstages and forces them to kill each other. And boy does that title suck, or what?
- Paparazzi. The latest example of the horrible trend of trailers giving away the entire movie. Tom Sizemore hams it up as a tabloid photographer who makes it his mission to torment some famous actor guy, "to destory your life and eat your soul" or something. So the famous actor guy goes all Punisher and stuff. This sounds bad enough, but add in Crazy Mel in the producer's seat, and we could be in for sheer torture.
- Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. This looks like a George Lucas wet dream, what with every shot -- and I mean every single shot -- in the trailer obviously filmed before a blue screen. Actually, this looks horrible, but it could turn out to be a bizarre kind of genius if it plays off just right. Either way, it will definitely be totally insane. And I really, really hate Angelina Jolie. Especially with an eye patch. And a British accent.
- Resident Evil: Apocalypse. The teaser was straight-up fantastic, but the full trailer looks like the same-old same-old. Can we get to Silent Hill: The Movie yet? Please?
See what I mean?
old and wise, with clouded eyes
you can't see what I can
'cause I throw my faith
to the face of the next pretty girl to come my way
Sunday, August 22, 2004
So, that's done
And the new World of Darkness is kewl. Just so you know.
count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Behold!
It'll take a few days for everything to get transferred over to the new design, so be patient.
Friday, August 20, 2004
So my roommate -- normally an intelligent guy -- made a mistake. He paid ten bucks to some guy for a bootleg DVD copy of The Bourne Supremacy. Illegal, pirated movies -- tsk, tsk.
And, because there is occasionally justice in the universe, the copy was terrible. Blurry, grainy, out-of-focus sometimes. The picture froze briefly every few seconds, ruining the film's shaky-cam action sequences and making me seasick. And (this is the best part) the foreign languages spoken in the film are subtitled...in French. So the plot was completely incomprehensible, especially since I never saw the first movie.
A screening of this sort is hardly fair to the movie, so I won't give a score based on that. But let this be a lesson to you: pirating movies doesn't pay.
Oh, and that Shinedown cover of "Simple Man" gets better every time I hear it. And has anyone heard anything by Alter Bridge, the band that features 3/4 of Creed and some other guy? I'm curious -- I loathe Scott Stapp, but he wasn't the only reason I hated Creed. If Mark Tremonti still plays his guitar riffs like he invented the fucking thing, Alter Bridge will suck, too. But can they be worse than Creed, which most of the time sounded like Bon Jovi with a cross? That's the big question.
we the people
are we the people?
Thursday, August 19, 2004
I'm updating my blog for the first time in over two weeks. This is noteworthy only because I'm doing it from my apartment.
Aw yeah. The internet is back home. No more trips to the library, no more waiting for a computer, no more standing there, no more paying ten cents to print something, no more any of that crap. I'M HOME! YEAH!
So, I should be updating this more often, since I no longer have an excuse.
For now, the questions are these:
1) What the fuck happened to Jonathan Demme? He goes from Philadelphia, Stop Making Sense, and the Ultimate Motion Picture, The Silence of the Lambs, to this pale, tepid remake of The Manchurian Canidate? You're kidding, right? Denzel's good, Liev's there, and I can't tell if Meryl Streep was so good she seemed out of place or if she was so bad she seemed out of place. The movie left me dizzy. Rating: *, just better than The Bloodletting of the Christ. Or whatever.
2) Should documentaries be eligible for Best Picture? When I make my Top 10 of 2004, should documentaries be on it, or should there be a seperate list? Because as of right now, docs take up two spots in the top five (and Metallica: Some Kind of Monster is currently my choice for Best Film of the Year). What do you think?
3) For those who have read both: which is better, "The Outlet" or "The Sum of His Parts"? This is just a curiosity thing.
That's it. Expect more from me. Possibly tomorrow. Or even later tonight. Hey now!
It'd be better for us if you don't understand
Even better for me if you don't understand
Monday, August 02, 2004
The awesomeness continues with Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, which proceeds to leapfrog The Village and everything else to score ***** and become my current pick for best movie of 2004. So far, obviously. And this isn't just slavering fandom talking, either -- everybody loves this movie. It's great stuff.
There's a new poll over there. Finally. Vote. Vote as if your life depends on it.
it comes alive, and I die a little more
Secret Window
Rating: ***1/2
I, Robot
Rating: *1/2
Exorcist: The Beginning
Rating: **
The Butterfly Effect
Rating: **
Bubba Ho-tep
Rating: ****