Thursday, November 02, 2006

I never do these

I don’t know why. But hey, I’m in a stupid-happy mood. Why the hell not?

(I completely ripped this off, by the way. But I think that’s what you’re supposed to do with these things. *shrug* Don’t ask me, I just work here.)


Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
Put it on shuffle
Press play
For every question, type the song that's playing
When you go to a new question, press the next button
Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening credits: “Miller’s Angels,” Counting Crows
Only a movie about me (or made by me, or both) would have opening credit music that is depressing beyond your ability to comprehend.
“Miller’s fingers are traveling down the length of her thigh, but Miller’s mind is still wandering, staring up at the sky.”

Waking up: “Underneath It All,” Nine Inch Nails
I’m apparently waking up to go do some heroin. Or to work in Metropolis.
“Kill my brain, yet you still remain.”

First day at school: “Glorified G,” Pearl Jam
Um, wow. That does remind me of high school. Going to school in Texas will do that for you.
“Got a gun—in fact I’ve got two, but that’s okay, man, ‘cause I love God.”

Puppy love: “Space Rock,” Weezer
Man, nobody in the world does puppy love songs better that Weezer.
“It’s a game, and you play, but you can’t have fun when all they do is say lies.”

Fight song: “Somewhere,” Soundgarden
Every fight should have Chris Cornell screaming in the background.
“I tried to try, and I lived to live, but I died to die, and I cried to cry.”

Breaking up: “Welcome to the Jungle,” Guns N’ Roses
What a bizarre breakup that would have to be. It certainly has the screaming part down right.
“You know where you are? You’re in the jungle, baby—you’re gonna die…”

Prom: “Love in Vain,” The Rolling Stones
Oh, how gloriously appropriate. I can totally see a prom montage to this song—the happy people, those bastards, dancing with the other happy people; the people like me huddled together in groups on the sidelines, clustered for support, but too depressed to even speak to one another. (Of course, I didn’t go to my prom, which shouldn’t surprise anyone reading this. I was out of town, that’s my defense, but let’s face it—I wouldn’t have gone, anyway.)
“It’s hard to tell, it’s hard to tell when all your love’s in vain.”

Life is good: “Emaline,” Ben Folds Five
This is a surprisingly chipper song. Yet another one I can see a great scene to, especially after the prom montage: all those depressed people throwing off the goofy-looking prom clothes and running around doing stupid, goofy crap like geeks.
“I’ll tell you what—I really shouldn’t sit here and whine.”

Driving: “Every Little Thing,” The Beatles
I actually listen to the Beatles constantly while I’m driving. My iPod is reading the categories of the questions here. It’s gaining sentience!
“Every little thing she does, she does for me, yeah.”

Flashback: “What’s Left for Me?” Days of the New
And more gloom rears its ugly head once again. This would be appropriate music for a flashback to some of my more unpleasant childhood memories. Or pretty much the last half of the 90s.
“Remember a time when time was a friend, and you could make it lend you a hand? Now there’s a place where taking takes place, and time just gets in your way.”

True love: “Say Goodbye,” Dave Matthews Band
Hahaha! Perfect! This is a live version, and Dave can barely remember the lyrics. Which is certainly appropriate for true love, isn’t it? Certainly is for me.
“Taking a secret, carry it away like a treasure we hid, and away from here…oh, and tomorrow, we go back to being friends. Tomorrow, we’ll go back, but tonight let’s be lovers.”

Wedding: “I Can’t Quit You, Baby,” Led Zeppelin
Man, everyone must be getting absolutely hammered at that wedding. The only way this makes sense is if it’s someone else’s wedding. Then…then, yeah, it makes sense.
“When you hear me moaning and groaning, you know it hurts me deep down inside.”

Moment of triumph: “Right Through You,” Alanis Morissette
This song is exactly the one I’ll play to all the people who’ve made fun of me once I get rich and famous and successful. Well, the last verse, anyway.
“Hello, Mister Man. You didn’t think I’d come back. You didn’t think I’d show up with my army and this ammunition on my back. And now that I’m Miss Thing, now that I’m a zillionaire, you scan the credits for your name and wonder why it’s not there.”

Death scene: “Never is a Promise,” Fiona Apple
Oh good lord, is my movie depressing. Fiona is not exactly Queen Joy to begin with, and this is one of her more melancholy songs. How appropriate for a death scene, then.
“You’ll say you’d never let me fall from hopes so high, but never is a promise, and you can’t afford to lie.”

Funeral: “Pyramid Song,” Radiohead
A song that’s actually about a funeral, in a manner of speaking. My iPod is scaring the crap out of me.
“All my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures. And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat. And there was nothing to fear, nothing to doubt.”

End credits: “A Message,” Coldplay
And everyone returns to their cars after the funeral, starting to smile again. ‘Cause life goes on, you know? And the movie somehow ends on something of an upbeat note.
“And I’m not gonna stand and wait. Not gonna leave it ‘til it’s much too late. On a platform, I’m gonna stand and say that I’m nothing on my own, and I love you—please, come home.”

Well, that was fun. A second pass was just as fun, though I wouldn’t have picked Eminem’s “Cleanin’ Out My Closet” for the “Life is good” selection. And my iPod had the balls to give me blink-182’s “I Miss You” for “True love.” Nice.

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