The Grammys

I didn't watch the show, but I dutifully found a list of the winners soon afterward. Here's the good and the bad:

The Good

• Green Day winning Record of the Year. (Even if "Holiday" was a better song, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" completely dominated the airwaves.)
• Each Grammy Kanye West won.
• System of a Down winning Hard Rock performance over Nine Inch Nails and that awful Audioslave song I won't shut up about.
• The White Stripes won Alternative Music performance, which doesn't make up for not being nominated for Album of the Year, but at least it's something.
• Linkin Park and Jay-Z winning Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for "Numb/Encore." (Even though several tracks on that disc are better than that.) (And yeah, that's what the category is called. Rap/Sung Collaboration. Don't ask me, I just work here.)
• Steve Lillywhite winning Producer of the Year. He's a groovy guy.
• Each Grammy Mariah Carey didn't win. Including Album of the Year, Record of the Year, and Song of the Year. Ha ha. I love it when I'm wrong.

The Bad

• Everything else.

Seriously. U2 for Album of the Year? And Song of the Year? I mean, don't get me wrong, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb was a fine record (and I'll even ignore that it was released in 2004, because I understand the Grammys have a weird October-September eligibility window), but...come on. Kanye West was right there. Once again, the Grammy voters' apalling fondness for long-established artists and old fogeys has cost someone a trophy they deserve. They did it to Eminem and Radiohead in 2001, when Steely Dan was given Album of the Year over two of the very best albums I've ever heard in my life; they did it last year, when Ray Charles (who managed to be long-established, old, and dead, so there was no beating him) was awarded for his moderately received Genius Loves Company while Green Day and (hey!) Kanye West were left standing on the sidelines.

But hey -- at least U2 are cool guys, and the album was pretty good. It could have been worse...like handing Kelly fucking Clarkson a bunch of awards. At least they're not that stupid.

Oh...wait....

Best Pop Vocal Album. Fiona Apple somehow manages to wrangle a nomination, despite all odds. And who wins? Kelly Clarkson, an continuing trademark of the FOX network, the very nadir of soulless, empty pop garbage. Blah! What's next? Nickelback winning Album of the Year? Creed sweeps the Grammys?

(Creed will sweep the Grammys, actually. Twenty years from now, their reunion album -- titled Resurrection, obviously -- will take home nine awards, including Album, Song and Record of the Year. Scott Stapp will be so filled with hope and the love of the Lord that he'll overdose on heroin immediately after the show and die.)

(Can't wait for that, huh?)

I'll have a dissection of the Oscars -- who should win, who will win, and who was snubbed -- once I finished seeing the appopriate films. Actually, once I see Brokeback Mountain, which is the only Best Picture nominee I've yet to see.